Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Agh! Xenoblade Chronicles has a platforming segment?!

at 4:08 PM
Agh!
Aghghaghaghahgahghaghahgaq~!

You thought Monolith was just fucking with you by throwing in that jump button. Nope. 30 hours into the game, bam! Platforming. J-j-j-j-j-jump tyyyyyyyme. It's kinda like this wall/cliff face thing that you have to work your way up, complete with branching paths and collectibles. The jumping works well enough, even if the camera is clearly out of its league. If I had to compare it to something- and it's so sudden, bland, and short that I see no point in doing so - but if I had to compare it to something, I'd say it's kinda like Castlevania (64) or a watered-down vertical Super Mario 64 stage like Whomp's Fortress. See for yourself (the first three minutes here):


Check out that view at 2:35! Breathtaking - what a payoff!

I was infinitely amused that they decided to put this in. Not that the game couldn't handle it, just that it didn't need it, nor did it gain anything from it. Unless it's about to become a RPlatformingG, this segment basically classifies as a minigame. But hey, if this is what they're offering in place of the "Shinra We Love You" song-and-dance routine from Final Fantasy VII, I'll take it.

And a-1, and a-2, and-a... Ohhhhhhh Shinra Shinra we love you, Shinra Shinra we love you too! If you don't sing along out loud, the president might mail you a grenade!


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