Monday, November 11, 2013

Who sucks more? Mega Man 7

at 4:58 PM

A long time ago I had an interesting idea that Greg and I would present cases for which game was worse, Mega Man 7 or Mega Man 8. After replaying (about half of) and collecting notes on Mega Man 7, it was hard to maintain enthusiasm to carry on with the endeavor, as I wasn't sure I was willing to waste more of my life playing two games I completely hate in the most uneducational way possible. They're just so boringly bad in that all of their failures are the collected failures of all of the previous Mega Men without any mitigating strengths. Mega Man 7 at the very least is the poster child for a game that fails at the conceptual level and is in no regard worth playing by anyone. It is a void of any idea ever. But that's enough sunshines and sunbows - I now present to you my original, real-time notes on Mega Man 7 (with some slight comparisons to 8). I was just going through old documents and noticed these and actually found them kinda funny, so enjoy. If you've played MM7, you'll know what I'm talkin' 'bout. If you haven't, sit back and enjoy the entire experience of the game condensed into about a hundred words. 

a funnyman's game (mettaur joke)
sprites so big it's painful (one enemy on screen at a time)
gimmicks are old as hell (air man, ice man)
lots of colorful characters (bass, auto, etc)
the shop which is the stupidest thing ever
really fucking dumb bosses (cloud man, junk man (dust man ripofff), an ice guy, burt's man, fucking racecar man, slash beast?)
For the first time ever in a Mega Man game, fight Snidely Whiplash!
weapon sequence isn't clear but that's nothing new
both games only do four bosses at a time
elevator sequence in junk man
intro and middle stages
environmental power puzzle - using electricity in junkman
junk man's stage didn't have much going on, no gimmick. it's junk
get stuck in the junk in the boss room

those invincible spinny back and forth enemies that are in every game come up too often
fucking polar bears
you have to find rush powers like in an X game
junk beats ice... of course!
very weak gimmicks, just kind of an amalgam of other similarly themed ones
Rush search is so dumb

the ice cracker fires ice bullets, right?
yes, and the bullets will split when they hit the ground.

bomb puzzles in burst man... again, after mm5 and 6. 8 has the bombs that walk around and those are neat
burst man chemistry - who would ever use beakers that big? someone with a shrink ray.
ground-sticking spinny things you stop by shooting are in every level so far (maybe) and seem to be invincible to most powers
when metools shoot, it makes the sound that wonderboy 3 makes when you swing your sword
got sent back to the beginning of burst man a lot
mega man is at the very top of the screen during the rising portion of burst man

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And right there after about five stages is I think where we stopped, or stopped taking notes. That game! I feel confident I won't return to this because I feel confident that there is very little chance I will play Mega Man 7 ever again. Got I hate that game.

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