Wednesday, May 1, 2013

A Perfectly Haunting Musical Selection

at 12:30 PM
May is starting, and spring is in full swing. With sunshine and life on the rise, GnG's undead readers will most likely experience seasonal depression. I can't do anything about the Earth's celestial circumstances, but I can provide some tunes to remind you of those late December days when the Moon ruled the sky. Dracula himself put these on a mixtape, calling it the Dracula Perfect Selection.
These songs really speak for themselves--I'll try not to get in the way, but I do have some high points to consider while you listen. Keep yer ears peeled, folks.

First up is Dracula’s sales pitch. He tries to tempt us to join him in his life of sin, inviting us on “a fantasy trip to Hell” (capitalization assumed).
Points of interest:
  • Check out that ragtime piano at 2:36.
  • He just wants to suck your blood.

Oddly enough, Dracula put a song from Simon Belmont on his "perfect" selection. Simon comes in with a most heinous rap at 2:59, saying, “Nightstalker, Nightwalker: I’m gonna get’cha, you’re all mine.” A more puerile commentator might ask if Simon is genuinely challenging Dracula or intending to join him in his sinful revelry or whatever it is vampires do.

Last but not least, I hope you’re ready for the 90s, because they’re here in full force. Get a load of that background track, too. It sure does take two to make a thing go right.
Skip to 1:44 for the ode to Simmon Belmont's struggle with Dracula. Then, stay tuned until 2:22 to hear the same choir sing about Santa Claus. I’m not kidding, listen for yourself. Listen for Yourself Himself.

1 comment:

  1. How do things like "Simmon" even happen. That's like the wrong-apostrophe-on-the-sign taken up 11. Did someone make a typo on the lyrics sheet and they were too cheap to do another take?

    I actually genuinely enjoy some of Drac's Perfect Selections. This rendition of Dwelling of Doom (the mansion song from Simon's Quest) is pretty bitchinnnnnnnn'