Let's Listen: Sound Samples

On olden game consoles, sometimes synths alone didn't do the trick. In that case, you'd load up a real live sound, compress it to fit on the cartridge, and slap it on in a song.

Snake's Revenge - Metal Gear

When I mention Konami NES samples, you might think of Double Dribble's opening voice clip. However, Konami had some great snare samples that they used in their shmups, brawlers, and, well, this game. Snake's Revenge is the sequel that never should've been to the Metal Gear port that also never should've been. While its soundtrack is rough around the edges (for Konami fare), it's still enjoyable.

This track in particular must understand that all you want to hear is the snare, because at 0:29, it just piles on as much as possible. Aside from that, the track is one of those quick and shallow tunes that keeps your blood pumping with a few really tight bars.

I know I said that it's rough around the edges, but that's not a knock against the soundtrack's production value; that aspect is just as top notch as your standard Konami NES OST, and you can really hear it in this song.

Sonic the Hedgehog 3 - Mid-Stage Boss

Who doesn't like getting to join in music? Maybe you whistle to the Mario Kart Wii tracks that have whistling in them. Or, maybe you listen to the Sonic 3 midboss music and join its voice samples, the Michael Jackson yelps and "come on"s. I've always preferred the funk edge of Sonic 3's soundtrack to Sonic & Knuckles' flavor, and it was a shame that Sonic 3 & Knuckles ditched this track in particular. Anyway, don't let anyone hear you enjoying this song.

Gimmick! - Happy Birthday

Sunsoft has some killer bass samples that create a sense of badassery in Blaster Master and gravity in Journey to Silius. (Also check out Sunsoft's Batman games on NES.) However, I recently realized that they used the same bass in Ufouria, a relatively cheerful game, so I wanted to see how happy Sunsoft got with their bass.

It's harder to get happier than a birthday--in fact, "happy" is in the track name. The bass here doesn't sound bad, since it's well composed and plays a decent role in the song. However, it still feels out of place to have such a deep, gritty bass in an otherwise upbeat, happy-go-lucky song. Maybe I've spent too much time playing Journey to Silius.

Random thoughts for the day

None of this was worth making into a real post, or is really worth reading.

-Why do people love the springy Snakey Snake from Donkey Kong Country 2, but bitch uncontrollably when presented with Spring Mario from Super Mario Galaxy? Spring Mario is the much more interesting character variation. It provides a verticality to environments that is otherwise absent in Galaxy. DKC2 is already littered with towering stages like Kannon's Klaim and Mainbrace Mayhem. We don't need goddamn Toxic Tower. Furthermore, Mario is a precisely controlling character, so adding determinism to his movements is a change of pace. Since Diddy and Dixie already control like their feet are made out of banana peels, the loose-handling Snakey serves no purpose.

Some players reported heart attacks at this moment. I thought it was a great addition to the best galaxy in Galaxy. Certainly far better than pointless Fireball Mario (oooh, break crates for 30 seconds) or Bee Mario (what is this, Sunshine?)

-Oh noooooooooooo David Hayter isn't gonna be Solid Snake anymore. Maybe they'll get someone with a modicum of talent this time around. Admittedly, the main reason I've skipped the majority of the Metal Gear Solid series is that it plays like shit, I can't do long cut-scenes (Lord have Mercy on the time I tried to play Star Ocean: [this cut-scene feels like it's going to last] Til the End of Time), I can't care about the story ("you just have to start from the beginning!", k no), and stealth action is so overdone these days that why would I play what is unanimously agreed upon as the worst execution thereof? I could be replaying Splinter Cell: Conviction or Dishonored. Anyway, the non-main reason I have no interest in MGS is that Solid Snake sounds like such a pussy. Go watch Escape from New York. K, now you know what Solid Snake is intended to sound like. Now listen to David Hayter do the voice. When I hear that, I imagine Kurt Russell's character in the 6th grade, doing his nightly check to see if he got pubes yet. Spoiler alert: he didn't.

I also get quite the laugh imagining Hayter asking for some stupid amount of money from Konami, his ego so severely inflated that he thinks the series can't go on with him. "But I'm Solid Snake!!!!" No, Solid Snake is a drawing. You're a guy doing a comedy voice that sounds like a girl.

-Was Snake Man ahead of his time? Think about it. It wasn't until the X series (set like 100 years after the originals) that the Robot Masters / Mavericks started being animal themed. Was he a prototype for this transition, or a time-traveler from X's era? Okay so it wasn't a random thought, I'm just running with the snake thing. Fuck you too.

Does anyone actually play Metal Gear Solid?

Nothing says "evil" like striking a pose.

I had a dream last night that I finally decided to bite the bullet and finish Metal Gear Solid 4. In the dream-world, I had earlier (in dream-memory) started the game and stopped playing when I realized it was so bloated that I didn't even know what the gameplay was. So I was gonna tough it out because I had to know how the game actually played, even if it meant drowning in a sea of cut-scenes. When I sat down to play it, as soon as I started the credits rolled and the game was over, and I was like, man, so the series doesn't even play like anything?!

That was absolutely a dream and not a metaphor, because I have stupid dreams that I can't shut up about (like everyone else). But it seems very true to me, especially because the setup, having abandoned the game because you don't get what it is, is what happened to me with MGS3, the only series entry I ever approached. I kinda turned on the game, said holy shit there are a lot of menus, got bit by an alligator, and put it back on the shelf. So I think I'm gonna let my memory get a little hazy and this dream can have been the conclusion to the story of Me and Metal Gear. 

Serious thought though, does anyone play MGS for anything but story? And if the answer to that is, as I assume, no, is there any way to enjoy the series without having played from the beginning? It seems overwhelmingly insular, especially since even fans complain about how mind-bending things get. Video games tend to be a medium in which you never have to have played the precursors to 'get' a sequel, but MGS seems to serve as an exception to the rule.

I had another dream just recently about people who were half-animal, half-skateboard taking over an elementary school and having to fight them off with the aid of a 2x4 and the lunch lady. Bruce Lee was definitely involved, but it was unclear which side he was on, as post-transformation I couldn't identify the evil animal/skateboard people. This particular dream inspired exactly zero thoughts on video games and it's actually a little scary that my brain had the budget to pull it off.