Friday, August 2, 2013

3DS eShop: It's forreal

at 3:30 PM
Woweee folks, I just downloaded Mighty Switch Force, Mega Man 2, VVVVV, and Sakura Samurai on my 3DS! The moral of this story is don't stay away from gaming for too long because then you'll binge and kick your dog when he doesn't respond to your drunken mutterings!

These 4 games cost just over 20 bucks total, which for me begs all sorts of questions about how anyone can stand to spend 35, 40, or 50 bucks on an 'actual' 3DS title. I barely bought Resident Evil: Revelations, and that dropped to 20.

The quality of Eshop offerings is surprising considering what I see as a general lack of enthusiasm by anyone for the 3DS as a console. With the advent of smartphone gaming, the 3DS fills this weird gap somewhere in the nexus of small children entertainment, gamers who will buy every console, and weirdo Nintendo enthusiasts (myself). But in actuality the 3DS wasn't designed with any specific US market in mind, it was designed guessed it! That island nation we nuked!

I didn't know this because I'm a xenophobe but apparently all the Japanese do is sit on trains going places. We're talking 8 hour commutes on the reg. That's actually how Sir Shigeru Miyamoto San came up with Mario: he worked for an Italian plumber who specialized in train-plumbing and would sit on his ass tracing the mountains as they went by instead of helping unclog the commuter-shit from the train-toilets.

Anyway the Japanese often lack friends because it's a very insular society (insular coming from the latin: island-like). They can't text or snapchat the few friends they have because pillows shaped like anime girls can't text they have to game and the 3DS is their go-to. Every Japanese person buys 2 to 5 3DS's, so it makes sense Nintendo doesn't give a shit about the American market. How could they when it takes every ounce of their creativity name the colors for the upcoming DS re-release?


While the 3DS lacks the major selling point of game development for, say, the iphone, in that everyone has it with them constantly and society no longer considers it rude to be on your phone literally all the damn time, the Nintendo handheld has obviously done some things right in attracting developers for small-scale niche and retro gaming. After I get through these latest purchases I still have Mutant Mudds, Pushmo and Crashmo, Nightsky, Mighty Switch Force 2, and a few other to go! With so much quality gaming at such reasonable prices it gets hard to care about anything else in life at all. Wait since I know Yourself is reading this I'll interrupt this irregularly scheduled blog post to ask him if he has anything fun on his 3DS sd card that I can borrow. Well? Do you?

Ok well I'll quit while I'm ahead. Here's this video:

1 comment:

  1. There's this great blog where you can get recommendations for all kinds of games to play, it's at:

    I'm interested to hear more about Mighty Switch Force, so feel encouraged to post a more thorough write-up. It's from the famous but controversial WayForward whose games sometimes look great and turn out boring (A Boy and His Blob) or look boring and turn out great (Double Dragon Neon). Also would like to know more about Sakura Samurai - the concept seems so thin, but people like it.

    I strongly recommend AGAINST Pushmo/Crashmo. They are boring as shit and play exactly like Tetris puzzles or Tangrams. Don't waste your money.

    Mutant Mudds is definitely worth a play, the original Game Boy Color Shantae is good and I've heard the DSiWare sequel Risky's Revenge is even better, Wario Land 2 is of course a classic, and I've been meaning to get around to the full-fledged Pokemon-esque RPG The Denpa Men 2, possibly the highest production value downloadable on the platform.

    You can't share games via SD card (sigh) so I can't do much for you there. You can feel free to borrow Kid Icarus Uprising, though that and ResiRev are the only cart games I have.