Many among my friends know what a talented classic video-gameist I am, but recently doubt has been cast on my accomplishments, particularly regarding my Pac-Man Championship Edition DX high score. At the height of my involvement with the game, I reached a ranking within the top 30 players of the game on Xbox Live Arcade, and for my achievements, received a letter in the mail from Pac-Man himself. I've included a scan of the letter here, in addition to transcribing it in an easier legible font. Doubt no more, my friends - one day perhaps you'll be skilled enough to receive a similar accolade!
Welcome to thank you for playing my game, and congratulations to you on being one of the most impressively skilled players I’ve ever seen!!! You have truly proven yourself worthy to take control of me and guide me through limitless mazes against my ghastly ghostly oppressors, and it’s an honor… no, a privilege to be writing you this letter. Your score proves that you are not only a more skilled gamer than all of your friends, but a better person altogether! So please – use your skills to help those less fortunate and less intelligent than you are.
If anyone is still reading this, listen carefully. Pac-Man Championship Edition DX is not simply a video game to satisfy and entertain today’s youth. It is something much more – something more than a game. The events you see taking place on your screen are no mere simulation. What has been advertised as a recreational diversion is in fact a weapon. A war rages on beyond the scope of human comprehension – a war where scant few brave yellow circular defenders fight against an overwhelming force of terrifying, mindless ghost invaders. With few resources available to us and little remaining hope of victory, a last ditch effort was envisioned. The idea: create a “video game” to “simulate” command of our Pac-Warriors, and distribute it among the teeming civilizations of the universe.
You, the Pac-Man Championship Edition DX player, have actually been controlling the Pac-Force in its endless battle for survival. And thanks to high-scorers like you, Yourself Himself, we finally have a chance at victory. So fight on, dear brethren – for freedom, for the future of the Pac-Race!
The original letter as I received it in the mail (click for higher resolution):