Thursday, September 13, 2012

Double Dragon Neon first play - Trying to write a blog while feverish, revis

at 10:53 PM
Hey guys, my temperature is 103 right now, but luckily I'm out of sick days at work! Isn't adulthood grand? It's my favorite thing since childhood and teenagerhood. Yyeeesterday a little TH heaven raht here on earth.
i never write good when I'm all feverish. it's because 1, I don't like you, and 2 I feel like I'm gonna barf. You ever wrote the Magna Carta when you barffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

see it kilsls all motivation to go backward. It's like, please. My teeth feel gritty and I'm going to lie down. not gonna fix a typoe. I dare you to fix it. Using just barf, type onto your computer the correct spelling of every word so far.

And you shoulda seen WHAT I WAS LIKE LAST night. It was one of those rare opportunities where I actually had to make myself puke so I wouldn't die.

Uhhhhhhno not thinkin that it was. But I DID do it to feel better, and then I slept. See, that's w2hat you almost got.

Waiting tilk today to type this, my breath feels and tastes like salsa. Yo know what else does that?> Double Dragon Neon. Feel the Salsa, Taste the Combos. It's got that chunkity chunky brawler feel, like ever kiss is a kiss to the brain and you just cringe to hear your opponents take a baseball bat to the face,. It's slow in a methodical way, so that you can tell every hit counts. The combos aren't really any more complicated than what NES had: 123punch uppercut. We've got a modified level up system (do not forget DO NOT FORGET that Double Dragon on NES ALSO had a level up system). If you run out of lives, you'll find yourself reset at the beginning of the stage (CLASSSICK, same as on NES (cept it had just lives instead of continues)), with your collected power-ups intact (there is no EXP, leveling is done through pick-ups). So you can grind if you want, but you're just gonna bore yourself and there's no need to.

Level1 pulls NO punches (punches, punches, punches) with enemies. You gotta play right or you ain't gonna make it to the end. You know whate other great game did this? Double Gragon. So, if you're thinking "this game is all archadic and IU CRYYYYYYYY soooooooooo LONG", burn in fucking hell you piece of shit. Actually don't do that. Come to my house. I've got just the puke soaked handshake for you old boy. PROUND OF YOURSELf?? I bet your momma kiisses you with that hand.

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