Thursday, September 27, 2012

SNK fighters and Wii Virtual Console

at 3:01 PM
Hey you know I'm happy as a clam eating a chicken that someone out there is still supporting the VC, especially someone like SNK whose games tend not to be as well-known, but do they really have to keep releasing games that A.) are only slightly modified sequels and B.) are available in latter-day compilations? 

It's the second one that kills me - you can go to Amazon with a fifty in hand (and please, as I do, physically hold your cash in your hand and try to exchange it with the Amazon webpage as though it were a cashier - it's up to you to decide when it's not going to work and the joke is over!) and pick up: 
Fatal Fury Battle Archives V1 -         $5.73
Fatal Fury Battle Archives V2 -        $1.25
Art of Fighting Anthology -                $3.78
World Heroes Anthology -                 $0.99
Samurai Showdown Anthology -         $11.97

The great irony of it all is that no matter how many collections and re-releases they do, SNK still refused to put out Mark of Wolves in the West, which is otherwise generally considered the best game in the series and the best fighter they ever made. Also, the even greater irony is that Last Blade is still a better game.
Apologies all around if that felt like an ad, because hell, I don't even know how to do Amazon referral links, but holy shit look at what I just wrote for a second. We're talking about a perfectly legal method, not even involving MAME or buying yourself a USB arcade controller, that requires only a PS2, to spend $31.27 (plus shaping and hand ring!) and get like, what's that, close to 20 or 25 different games? Why would you ever in your life need to spend one more dollar on an SNK fighting game? You know they're all basically the same, right? And since none of them have online and all are going to be latched to your PS2, there's no competitive scene either (plus the weird thing where Fatal Fury is supposed to be a 1P game anyway).

And Metal Slug's just as bad. Metal Slug actually annoys me even more though, because people get all happy when a Metal Slug game comes out on VC. Listen asshole, go fucking buy the collection on Wii or PS2 right now. That is REQUIRED PLAYING. Those are some of the best run-and-gun games of all time, or, almost definitely they ARE the best run-and-gun games of all time. So by heralding a VC release, not only are you giving credit to the eighteenth overpriced resale of a game that's been available (on the same platform) for years, you're also admitting that you know absolutely JACK SHIT about 2D action games (and probably HAH, this is hilarious to me, probably think like Contra III or something is the best one) and ought not to be trusted with the words "arcade", "shmup", or "difficulty".

YES I AM CRANKY. You try being sick for over a week now and being unable to swallow or eat meat or talk or even breathe properly. It's not that fun. And I could have days or weeks left to go, and guess what, it's all probably just buildup to surgery I'm going to need. Fucking sweet. So you better go enjoy some SNK fighters in a financially responsible way and then someone release a good VC game, because not all of us can live the high life right now. And maybe, just maybe, I'll eventually feel up to playing or talking about La-Mulana.

Alright alright, so as not to leave this on an entirely negative note, let me give you a quick recommendation about an SNK fighter that IS worth playing and IS worth buying and hopefully will soon be followed by its sequel on VC. The Last Blade. It's a Edo-Samurai-Period-Piece, similar to Samurai Showdown but strangely a lot more fun. The characters don't all suck and it has a much more fluid combo system. It's generally just a much more approachable game than anything SNK ever put out; the systems are spelled out clearly, there's a built in counter button, what more could you want. So go check it out, it's a great one for children and kids alike!

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