Saturday, August 18, 2012

Andrew’s live blog of Link’s Awakening Part 1: Let’s See How Long It Takes for Me to Get Bored with This Game

at 1:37 AM
So I got Link’s Awakening for 3ds eshop.  A number of factors, pository and negatory (which apparently auto corrects to “nugatory” in ms word…), went into this decision:

1. I haven’t touched my 3ds or really any videogame in like 2 months, maybe longer, since I replayed Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow for the millionth time instead of studying for finals. 

Holy crap that game is good.  Why can’t every game just be that game? 
Anyway I thought if I actually wanted to write another blog post that no one will read I should play something.

2. I considered the fact that I have never really enjoyed Zelda games, save Link to the Past.

3. It was 6 bucks, or something really cheap like that.  No, correction, it was like 5.99, and you can only put whole dollar amounts of money on your eshop account or whatever, and so now I have 14.01.  No thinking this through like the economics major I am, and knowing nothing about economics, I would conceivably have to buy 100 goddamn games all priced at XX.99 to somehow spend ALL my money.  Go fuck yourself Nintendo, just let me pay the amount the game costs you money-grubbing jap assholes.
I will take all of it.  All the monies.
 Anyway people have always said good things about this particular Zelda, so why not?  I was debating beating it and then posting a review on the blog, but then I thought a live-blog (vlog) would give y’all a better sense of my feelings towards the game because god knows I’m not going to remember anything in particular about it once I’m done. 

Andrew’s live blog of Link’s Awakening Part 1: Let’s See How Long It Takes for Me to Get Bored with This Game

Beginning stuff is happening.  Not having a sword for the first 5 minutes of a Zelda game is, I would bet,  a classic Japanese character-building measure.

So far the best part has been when you sprinkle shroom powder on this weird-ass raccoon in the forest, he spins around for like five minutes, and then turns into Mario.  There’s like a whole bunch of Mario things in this game, I don’t really get it. 

After that whole…ordeal…the omniscient owl comes back and again tells you EXACTLY what to do, because obviously I’m too stupid to figure out that it’s the path I couldn’t get through before.  No seriously I am that stupid so I’m appreciating what this owl is doing.  I also don’t get what the fuck a wind-fish is but I drew what I hope it’s going to be in paint:
Now I’m beating some sort of dungeon.  My only comment is that I spent like 30 goddamn minutes wandering back and forth because I thought the way I had to go was blocked.  I’m all like “oh ok its Zelda, I have to hit a switch somewhere else.”  So after fucktarding around the place for what felt like forever I gamefaq’d it and I had to push a block near the door to release it…how THE HELL was I supposed to know that was a game mechanic?  

OK now there are goombas and its side scrolling and I’m thinking this Nintendo is trying to mind-fuck me and this is just slowly but surely morphing into Mario Land.  OH GOD I WAS RIGHT I just got a leaf that allows me to jump there’s no way this is still going to be a Zelda game in like 5 minutes.

Welp both those bosses were easy and I got a Cello.  Uhhhh first impressions: like every other Zelda.  Fun enough but it’s very likely I’ll get bored after the first 3 dungeons.  The issue I think I have is that these games are like RPGs except minus the thing that makes RPGs fun: customizing and improving your character in your OWN way.  I know my Link (or Andrw since only 5 characters are allowed) is improving just as the game wants him to. 

So, I’m taking all bets for if I have the patience or not to vlog the next time I play.


  1. Pretty drunk right now posting this...luckily I wrote it earlier in the day or else it'd be unreadable.

  2. 10:1 odds that the game inspires you to learn the cello in real life and you stop playing this game so that you can futilely overthrow Yo Yo Ma.

  3. Aria of Sorrow much better you stupid