Monday, August 13, 2012

Whoa-ho there nelly. Take a step back from the Mountain Dew and get some perspective.

at 3:48 PM
Browsing my local neighborhood Joystiq this afternoon, I was reminded of the upcoming Summer of Arcade release: Dust: An Elysian Tail. Before I go off about how transparent the "Summer of Arcade" marketing campaign is and how woefully low the bar has been set this year, let me stop for a minute on Dust. This is a 2D action game. I like 2D action games. Odin Sphere and Guardian Heroes rank among my favorite games of all time. This game has beautiful sprite work and animation. I like beautiful sprite work and animation. Much of my favorite sprite work and animation is beautiful. So we're off to a good start. Here's where it gets ugly.

This is a game about furries. And this game is. fucking. serious. Now I'm not one to judge the particular psychological disorders of a massively insane subsection of contemporary internet culture. I'm not one to say all furries would be better off dead, and that I'm more than happy to drive them away from my website. I'm NOT one to say that if the Holocaust were to be repeated, but with furries instead of Jews, that the world would be a better place. I'm just going to say: watch this trailer. If at the end you feel pumped and can't wait to play Dust: An Elysian Tail, well, the close tab button is right over there. The rest of us will spend another day embarrassed by the ludicrously self-serious narrative stereotypes that twist what could have been an inspired gem of our medium into a laughing-stock desperate to emulate a long artistically barren older brother.


  1. I would not go as far to say that it was going to be an inspired gem. The gameplay looked like a complete knock-off of Muramasa: The Demon Blade. I performed at least half of the combos seen in the trailer grinding for souls near Edo.

  2. I guess I just like to be optimistic and pretend anything could be an inspired gem. When I go to Subway, I expect an inspired gem of a sandwich. That's just the kind of American I am.

    But don't think it escaped me that the game is an utter Vanillaware clone. Even those Dishwashing games seem like SLIGHTLY more inspired rips. At least they picked one of the best developers in the business to emulate - it's not like you can say the market is overflowing with 2D action.