Thursday, August 9, 2012

Back in the CCCR Double Feature - The Witcher 2 and Dark Souls

at 8:07 AM

Control customization Tim here with your weekly Back in the CCCR. Let's cover a little 360 title, a little 360 title that was ported from an even littler PC title called The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings. While I maintain that the title of this particular game has been carefully calculated so as to completely vanish in the mire of generic fantasy that piles store shelves, it somehow has managed to make a bit of a name for itself. A lot of people say that this is a game that lets you actually make big choices and change the story. Some say it's got a strategically-grounded but challenging and action-heavy battle system. Others have made claims to the effect that it is chocked full of engaging morally ambiguous narratives. I'm going to stay away from those delusions of grandeur and keep my attention focused on what really matters to you, the everyday gamer: control customization.

Alright! This menu's got nesting! A menu within a menu. 
A control map: why have a tutorial when you can have a picture?
Y axis inversion: Always necessary
Toggle auto-rotating of Y and X cameras: this is because Witcher 2 was designed for PC. 
Vibration on or off: Kinda don't care about rumble. Note to self: post about this later.

The Verdict? The Witcher 2 gets a: I expected more from a PC game out of 10
This is the main stuff that happens in the game, so I guess they figured it didn't matter. Why do I feel like this screenshot should be from Kingdom Hearts?
For a special treat, I've decided to cover ANOTHER game, one which many seem to hold as a Japanese analogue to this western RPG: Dark Souls. I don't know why these many choose to do so, because it makes absolutely zero sense - the games have almost nothing in common beyond their grimdark setting and surprising difficulty.  Dark Souls is hardly an RPG in the traditional sense at all, instead falling closer to a Metroid style open-world adventure. The supposed RPGing aspect, the collection of souls, in fact functions a whole lot closer to a traditional high score counter.  Score. There's an interesting concept. Save it for later. 

Dark Souls has
X, Y axis inversion: of course ALWAYS. if you can't program a -1 then I [jumps off cliff]
Camera speed: it's called sensitivity in every other game but okay
Toggle auto lock-on: This is just confusing. Am I toggling auto lock-on, or am I toggling toggle auto lock-on?
Camera auto wall recovery: Uhh? Am I supposed to know what this means? Some debugger must've really wanted this and told the localization crew not to bother explaining. 
Vibration: there's a meter here so you can set how much vibration you want. How much vibration do you want? Seems stupid. On or off.

The Verdict? Dark Souls gets a: feigning uniqueness through absence of the option not to use the fucking triggers as attack out of 10
Quick, which button makes me block? Fuck, I just jumped off the ledge. Thank god they aren't getting cheap difficulty out of stupid restrictions! Developers know best! Fucking idiots.
I've hidden a secret within this post for all you Easter egg bunnies and cryptographers out there. See if you can find it! I'll give you one small hint: the secret is that the number 2 is referenced multiple times in the post. The Witcher 2, Dark Souls is the second game in a series, 360 is the second Microsoft video game console, I reviewed 2 games' CC options, From Software is a 2-word company name and so is CD Projekt (double double!), my middle initial is the second of my initials, there are 2 little humps in the letter M. Write in with more 2s that you find!

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