So I took a little weekender in Manhattan this weekender. While there I decided to play the culinary tourist chef, a la Anthony Bourdain or his more esteemed colleague, Guy Fieri. If you've ever met someone from New York, you know that they won't shut. the fuck. up. about how much better everything is there. Some favorites to harp on are pizza (or "pizza pie", as they call it, because they seem to have mistaken themselves for wops living in the year 1943) and bagels (see also: Jews).
As a native Marylander, I decided it was my responsibility to see how much truth there was to this pizza bullshit, so I ordered myself up a couple pies (over the course of three days, that is). Let me note that I made no effort to find the famoustest or most televised joints; I went with the layman's approach: walk down the street until you see a place called Pizza, and go in. Or order delivery, as it were.
As a native Marylander, I decided it was my responsibility to see how much truth there was to this pizza bullshit, so I ordered myself up a couple pies (over the course of three days, that is). Let me note that I made no effort to find the famoustest or most televised joints; I went with the layman's approach: walk down the street until you see a place called Pizza, and go in. Or order delivery, as it were.
Some fast facts I picked up:
- New Yorkers call them "pies", not "pizzas". I already knew this - so did you if you read this post.
- This is extremely stupid
- Good luck getting the toppings you want
- Unless this was bad luck on my part, each restaurant seems to offer its own completely random topping assortment. A couple places didn't even have pepperoni!
- It's all brick oven
- It's all brick oven. Not necessarily a good or bad thing, except it means no variety
- Grease, grease, grease, grease, grease, grease, grease
- You've never seen this much grease in your life. I couldn't finish a single slice without a veritable Atlantic Ocean of yellowy fluid adorning the plate
- No regular sizes
- Here in MD, you won't find a parlor that doesn't offer at least 12", 14", and 16" pizzas. NYC has decided to turn the world on its upside down, with most locations offering only one or two sizes, usually 12" and 18". Fucking stupid. Either way too much or not enough for a meal.
- It's still pretty damn good.
I wasn't blown away by what I had, nothing really touching Matthew's in Baltimore, but I have to admit that their average quality is a lot higher than ours.
So, pizza ahoy! And back to video games as of tomorrow.
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