Wednesday, October 31, 2012

XCOM Blogdier: The Late Captain Ezio 'Doomsday' Auditory

at 3:55 PM
Guys this is really bad news. Soul-crushing stuff. I nearly cried, and I definitely did the Rambo thing (god fucking damnit why isn't this on youtube... you know, when he goes "RAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGHHHH" and shoots into the air). Doomsday didn't... he didn't come back from the last mission.

Captain Ezio Auditory, USMCXCOM, is survived by a turkey leg, a loving flute, and his pet Game Boy Advance. He didn't live the life he wanted us to live, he lived the live for which he wanted us to live, to have to have lived. His service for this video game campaign shall be forever remembered... mainly because I made a new soldier to look exactly like him.

Oh, right. Boo. Happy Halloween. Hope you enjoyed it / scared you.

This time the segue would have worked if I wanted to talk about tension or expendability. Dead soldiers in this game are a heavy burqa to wear. In your base hangs a memorial plaque bejeweled in their honor. Still, you won't feel any moral weight to these casualties, only a practical one. "Argh, that's another Heavy I have to start from scratch" were the words I said when Ezio died. Actually I can be pretty dramatic and probably did do the stuff at the top of the post. Okay. Whichever. I'll have some more interesting things to say tomorrow maybe. Right now the skin on my right hand is dry and cracking to the point where it hurts to type.

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